Speaking of Race “Relations”…   Leave a comment

It’s worth noting that at one time, it was actually against the law in this country for Blacks and Whites to marry let alone have kids together. The history of racism in this country is far deeper than most of our elected “officials” would have you believe. You need only ask those who were effected by it at the time and those who are effected by it today. Mostly Black and White but also Asian and non-Asian, Native American and White and other combinations.

…That said, much of this will have Black and White in mind. Let’s start with these two pictures:

…What you are seeing are two expectant couples. To some Whites, the man on the right is a traitor and the woman on the left is a whore. To some Blacks, the man on the left is an Uncle Tom and the woman on the right is a traitor.

Why such a strong, visceral reaction by some people? The answer lies in the 19th Century when Slavery was still on the books. Today, we have things like Invitro Fertilization (IFV) and Viagra for men and women who are having trouble conceiving. Back then? Slaveowners who had alot of slaves kept a certain number of slaves separate from the rest just for breeding purposes, mostly with other blacks. Some were also used for breeding with a White woman or man specifically to produce an heir.

More often than not the sex was not consentual where a Black woman was concerned. If the baby came out light-skinned, the slaveowner would keep it as his own unless it was a girl. If not, the mother was allowed to keep it. In the case of Black men, Taskmasters would get them drunk before bringing them before the White woman they were to breed with. This way they would have trouble recalling what they did, let alone fathering a child with a white woman. Of course, the slave would never know what became of the child they sired: Even if the child came out dark, it was raised “White”. More so if the child was a boy.

Anywho, that’s the macro historical context behind why SOME Blacks and Whites abhor the idea of interracial relationships. Some but not all. It really is something else lingering feelings from those times continue to endure. I have always maintained the personal belief that the most efficient way to combat racism in this country is for more interracial relationships.

On that note. There is a silent campaign by black, white and Asian American family communities in particular that ostracizes those who “race mix”: If you have a child with someone outside your race, you’re out of the family. It’s mostly because of Xenophobia but in the case of many Asian communities, supersition as well. I have been told by both Black and White young women when they left home, they were told by their parents in no uncertain terms “If you get pregnant by a black/white man, you’ll be a single mother.” The obvious racial undertones aside, we have trash TV shows like Maury with their paid guests to thank for spreading this myth in the U.S.

For those who don’t know, The Maury Show is a talk show that starting 20 years ago started to focus almost exclusively on paternity tests. The premise is the same: A woman gets pregnant by a guy who denies the child. She turns to Maury to have a paternity test to prove to the guy and sometimes the guy’s family on TV that he is the father of her child. 75% of the time, the man’s paternity checks out. The other 25% it’s revealed he isn’t the father. Most of the time, the mother and potential father involved are the same race. According to a few blogs about the show’s track record I’ve been recently following, there has been a noted uptick in biracial couples. It’s to the point yes, some parents are telling their teen and young adult children not to fall in love with anyone outside their race.

Now, it IS true that some women who have biracial children do end up as single mothers for a variety of reasons. An article I glanced at while looking for one of the earlier pictures–not the above one in particular to be clear–said “White women are becoming the new Black Mothers”, referencing Black men who have a child or children with a White woman. I interpret the language used to suggest more and more Black men prefer White women over Black women, mainly because of high-profile celebrity couples who are biracial. That simply isn’t the case. The truth is more and more men AND women are not looking at race.

They’re looking at love.

I look at the second picture above and I think of not Black men but many Black WOMEN asking themselves “Why couldn’t she find a Brother to have kids with? Why did it have to be a White man?” The only thing higher is the idea of a Black man chosing a White woman over a Black woman. The psychology behind it for many Black women is “Why couldn’t he pick one of us? Why did he have to pick a White woman over a Black woman?” The obvious “Why does it bother you so much?” aside, the root reason for asking is genuine curiosity. No, really. LOL.



Anywho, the cruel and obvious outcome is for many who are born from a biracial relationship, they are made to feel like they don’t “belong” to either race. Nevermind high-profile folks like New York Times Columnist Shaun King, who self-identifies as Black even though he could easily pass for a White person. Trolls, biggots and racists attack him BECAUSE he is biracial, has a White mother and self-identifies as Black. Kinda makes you think of another biracial man who self-identifies as Black and was the 44th President of the United States, doesn’t it?

That’s just in regards to people who are in the public spotlight. For those who aren’t, it’s different depending on the person. I have had the honor of getting to know two such people. They love who they are and that’s all that should matter.





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